Gandalf wants his Mummy III Mayhem in Moria
by the evil witch queen
Summary: THIS CONTAINS GWHM IV. This is about the havoc caused when Gandalf goes insane in Moria
1. Default Chapter

Gandalf wants his Mummy III-Bubbles my precioussssssssss

Summary: I'm back! This time the Fellowship have just arrived at the place where Gandalf doesn't know which way to go. Let the insanity fly!

Disclaimer: You know it, I know it, I do not own LotR or make money from this story. Do I make myself clear?

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A/N-As usual I've gone with the movie. So, the fellowship are sitting around while Gandalf tries to remember which way to go. Sorry I didn't update for so long. My life is far too busy.

Gandalf sat there like a lump of stone, his head ached and he felt dizzy. (recognise the symptoms?) The Istari was actually beginning to nod off when he snapped. Just as he began to doze Frodo came up to him and said, 

"There's something down there."

Gandalf gasped at this and said in a very childish voice,

"Ooooooooooooooooh. Weally?" 

Frodo just stared at him. This time Gandalf had a lisp, how annoying was that going to get? 

"BUBBLTH!" Gandalf yelled at the top of his voice, pointing at Gollum, who was now crouching down staring at the fellowship with something clutched in his hand. 

"Give Bubblth back!" Gandalf said to Gollum.

To everyone's surprise Gollum answered,

"No! Bubblessssssssssssssssss my precioussssssssssssss bearsessss. Yessssssssss precioussssssssss, Bubblessss isssssssss." 

Gandalf then went and grabbed one of the teddy's arms and pulled saying,

"MINE!"

Gollum pulled on the arm he was holding crying out,

"Mine!" Gandalf yelled at Gollum, once more pulling on the arm he was holding.

"Mine!" Gollum said pulling Bubbles back to him. 

"Mine!"

"Mine!"

"Mine!"

"Mine!"

"Mine!"

"Mine!"

"Mine!"

"Mine!"

"Mine!"

"Mine!"

"Mine!"

"Mine!"

"Mine!"

"Mine!"

"Mine!" Gollum yelled out, and with astonishing force, pulled the teddy from Gandalf's grip and ran off. 

When Gollum was gone Gandalf sat on the floor and cried noisily. 

Legolas groaned, covering his ears, and called Pippin over.

"What did you do last time to get him back to normal?" 

"Um…I…that is…." 

"You don't remember do you?" Boromir said.

Pippin shook his head.

"You should," Aragorn told Legolas, "Anitarwen, my luminous orange elephant with bright pink spots and electric blue tusks who knows everything, and she says that immortals should remember everything, and you're an immortal." 

"Well Abrandythrandy, my bright blue cat who has red stripes can tell when people are lying and he says that Anitarwen is lying." Retorted Legolas 

"That's not-" Aragorn began but Boromir cut him off.

"You two are as bad as Gandalf," he told them.

"Are not!" Legolas and Aragorn said in unison, infuriated to be compared with the insane Istari. 

"Instead of arguing, shouldn't we try and get Gandalf back to normal?" asked Frodo.

"Yeah, we probably should." Answered Gimli.

The Fellowship gathered round Gandalf and began to talk about how they might get him back to normal when the Istari interrupted. 

"I'm going to find Bubblth. Will one of you come too? It'th too scarwy to go alone. Pleeth?"

"No you will not." Gimli told Gandalf, "You'll stay right here."

Gandalf blew a loud wet raspberry in reply.

After about ten minutes Merry suddenly remembered something.

"Pippin! You slapped Gandalf across the face up on Caradhras, maybe that's it."

Pippin went over and slapped him, but all that happened was that Gandalf yelled at him,

"That'th not nice! I'm telling!"

"Well that didn't work."

"Talk about stating the obvious, honestly Sam, can you tell us something we don't know?" asked Gimli in an annoyed voice. 

"That last time Pippin told Gandalf too act his age when he slapped him."

"Why didn't you say so before?" asked Frodo.

"I only just remembered."

Pippin then approached Gandalf slowly, the fellowship was waiting with baited breath, the hobbits had their fingers crossed, but just before Pippin could reach him, Gandalf burst into song.

"Twingkle, Twingkle, ickle thar,

How I wonder what ooooh are.

Up above de wowld so high,

Wike a diamond in de sky.

Twingkle, Twingkle, ickle thar,

How I wonder what ooooh are." 

"Quick Pippin." Legolas hissed.

Pippin pounced and slapping Gandalf across the face and yelled, 

"Act your age!"

Gandalf fell over and Pippin landed on top of him.

"Fool of a Took!" said Gandalf (who was now back to normal) "Get off me. (Pippin gets off) What do you mean, jumping on a poor fellow like that."

"But-" Pippin never finished his sentence.

"Can we get moving now?" Boromir asked Gandalf.

"Yes, this way." 

"I thought you'd forgotten." Sam said hesitantly.

"Yes," Gandalf answered, "But Anitarwen told Abrandythrandy who told Bubbles who told me. So it must be this way, (pause) and the air doesn't smell so foul." He added as an after thought. 

"We're doomed." Was all Frodo had to say.

"Doomed." Sam agreed.

"Doomed." Merry sighed.

"Doomed," Pippin said sadly, then in curiosity, "What are we doomed by?" 

"Pippin." The other three hobbits sighed exasperatedly.

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A/N-Did I really just write that? I must be going even more insane. Oh well, good for me. Please review! I might be putting a picture on my bio page. If I do, the first picture I put up will be of Bubbles! Later I might put one up of Anitarwen. Thanks to all who reviewed Gandalf wants his Mummy II. I LOVE REVIEWS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Thanks for reading!

RESPONSE TO REVIEWS

Figure out who is too lazy to log in-thanks for the idea. I though an imaginary friend for Aragorn called Anitarwen would be funny, so thanks. Even though I sort of twisted the idea.

Lirenel- I know you write that sort of stuff, I've read it.

Daphoid- Thanks for the compliment, but don't be too critical of your own stories, some of them are really good.


	2. Balins Tomb

Summary: I'm back! This is the fellowship are in Moria and Gandalf keeps going insane. Let the insanity fly!

Title: Gandalf wants his Mummy IV

Disclaimer: You know it, I know it, I do not own LotR or make money from this story. Do I make myself clear?

A/N - the Fellowship have just arrived in Balin's tomb.

Gimli knelt there by Balin's tomb crying noisily. Gandalf slowly walked up and read the inscription, trying to keep his voice from squeaking. His head ached and he felt as if the world was spinning at 100 miles/h round him. He gave his hat and staff to Pippin then bent down to look at a book that lay beside the tomb. As he lifted it, some of the pages fell out. Opening it he began to read,   
"They have taken the Bridge, and the Second Hall. We have barred the gates, but cannot hold them for long.   
Snapping just as he said the last word, Gandalf began to flip through the pages, looking for pictures.   
"Well," Aragorn prompted, "What does the rest say?"   
"How thould I know?" Gandalf said angrily to Aragorn in his child's voice, "I can't wead."   
Gandalf threw the book across the room at the ranger in a temper and Aragorn only just ducked in time.   
"Oh no, not again. Not now." Frodo moaned.   
"Pippin quick!" Sam said to his young friend.   
Pippin started towards Gandalf but when Gandalf realised what he was doing he grabbed his staff back, and pointed it at Pippin. A flash of blue light erupted from the end of the staff and headed for Pippin who ducked; the light beam then rocketed off a pillar and went flying back towards Pippin. It hit both him and Merry, and, on impact turned a bright pink colour. The fellowship waited with baited breath to see what the spell had done. After two minutes nothing happened, Boromir sighed and shook his head.   
"NIGHT FEVER, NIGHT FEVER!" Merry suddenly burst out.  
"WE KNOW HOW TO DO IT!" Pippin continued.   
They both then continued to sing and also began to dance. They looked absolutely horrified at what they were doing; they obviously had no control over themselves. Legolas moaned and covered his ears. Neither hobbit was singing in tune and they were in different keys that sounded simply awful together.   
"Anitarwen! Dance with me baby!" Merry cried out to thin air and then began to dance with the imaginary elephant.   
"Abrandythrandy! Would you dance the night away!" Pippin implored to the imaginary cat and also began dancing with it.   
"Ai Valar! What has Gandalf done?" Legolas gasped.   
"Maybe you'll remember that Abrandythrandy is your imaginary cat." Gimli said smugly.   
"Danth you guys!" Gandalf yelled and pointed his staff at the rest of the fellowship.   
The blue light issued from it once more and hit the fellowship, turning pink on impact. They all began to dance with Merry, Pippin and Gandalf and sung '70's pop songs. Merry and Pippin suddenly stopped dancing, the spell had worn off them at last. The poor hobbits were exhausted and went to sit on the edge of the well but Gandalf came up to them and began to interrogate them.   
"Why awen't you danthing?" He asked angrily.   
"Um," Merry began, "We…er, don't know."   
"It's too hot to dance," Pippin told Gandalf, "So we got tired."   
"You're wight," Gandalf agreed, "It'th too hot down here. And dark. And scawy. I wan' Bubblth."   
The Istari's voice had trembled more and more and when he finished the rest of the fellowship gathered round. They had finally stopped dancing. Just then Boromir saw his chance and went for Gandalf but the Istari hit the man over the head with his staff almost knocking him out. When he was hit, Boromir lost his balance and would have fallen head first down the well had it not been for Legolas who grabbed him, just in time to pull him back up.   
"If anyone elth twys to hit me," Gandalf lisped angrily, "I'll puth them into the well."   
"Gimli," Aragorn said to the dwarf, "You grab his left arm and I'll grab his right and then Legolas can slap him."   
The dwarf nodded but as the went forward Gandalf managed to hit him over the head with his staff and at the same time the other end clouted Aragorn on the chin sending over backwards. He then turned to Legolas and punched the staff into the elf's stomach, winding him and sending flying halfway across the room. The hobbits were the only ones left. Merry and Pippin went for him but were smacked out the way and almost fell into the well. Frodo and Sam advanced toward Gandalf who backed away until he was right at the well. Pippin then got up and grabbed the staff; he succeeded in getting it away from Gandalf but at the same time almost pulled him into the well. Frodo and Sam then each grabbed one of Gandalf's hands and pulled him back up. Frodo slapped him and told him to act his age. Gandalf stumbled backwards from the force of the shock and bumped into Pippin who in turn stumbled backwards into a skeleton that lay on the well edge. Clank! Clank! Went the skeleton down the well. "Fool of a Took!" Gandalf scolded, "Next time throw yourself in with your riddles and your stupidity."   
"But I-" Pippin began to protest but a look from the rest of the fellowship silenced him. Suddenly 'doom' doom boom' 'doom doom doom'. Drums sounded from the deep.  
"Ai Valar, what now." Legolas moaned.   
"Out of the frying pan into the fire." Frodo muttered. Sam merely nodded in agreement to his master's statement. 

REPLIES TO REVIEWS 

Kate- Thanks. Here's some of the rest

Coffee- Thanks for the compliment. This do for more?


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